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Some Bull For the Bullpen

Written by: Jonathon 

Two spots are open in the Phillies bullpen this season and the competition for these jobs has created an interesting contest between some familiar Phillies looking to toss a few off Citizen Bank Park’s freshly laid mound, and some minor league players hoping to snare a chance at major league glory. But what are the chances of Amaury Telemaco gracing us with last year’s 3.97 ERA? How about Josh Hancock’s never-ending supply of K’s? The following is a hopefully objective look at who may be in the bullpen and how they could get there.

Amaury Telemaco

Pros: Last year’s five game stint as Brandon Duckworth’s replacement lead to a career best 3.97 ERA and some solid play despite a 1 and 4 record. By comparison to this years starting rotation, Telemaco would actually have the second lowest earned run average, behind only Vicente Padilla.

Cons: Telemaco has a career ERA of 5.03, which puts him somewhere in the vicinity of Brandon Duckworth and Jose Mesa, ‘nuff said. Last year was either a fluke or some trippy hallucination that made Telemaco look good, but it was likely a matter of comparison. When you’re up against Brandon “This duck has flown south” Duckworth, you’re bound to impress someone.

Josh Hancock

Pros: Little time in the majors means there’s not much to judge Hancock by (except 4 strikeouts in 3 innings last year), but plenty of achievements in the minors has us clamoring for more. 3 weeks of being named the International League Pitcher of the week (a feat accomplished only by one other Phillie, Andy Ashby) and a couple of shutouts later, and you’ve got yourself a prospect.

Cons: A grand total of 10 innings pitched in Major League Baseball means we should be scanning the free agents list for an old washed up player so that we have someone good to play alongside Roberto Hernandez, an old washed up player.

Eric Junge

Pros: A career ERA of 2.21 and a 5th place finish for wins in the minors.

Cons: Has pitched a grand total of 20 innings for the Phils. Perhaps if he dons a Phillie Phanatic head and slips out that red tongue out of the Phanatic’s medically impossible and horrendously bizarre nostril /mouth we won’t notice how bad he is.

David Coggin

Pros: 10 wins and 143 strikeouts prove that Coggin is not only ready for the pros, but poised for a breakout season. He’s healthy after an injury that cost him almost all of last year. He has the proper motivation and some quality talent to back it up.

Cons: A 4.52 career ERA and a goatee that has little children mistaking him for a goat will send this gomer back to Scranton (the greatest city in the world!)

Victor Alvarez

Pros: Played with the Dodgers for a couple of years.

Cons: Never heard of him? That’s because he changed his name in some sort of wacky international thing that’s much too detailed and senseless for any of us to care about. I have a feeling this guy came on a deflated raft from some poverty stricken country and ran into Dodgers stadium yelling “Yo vivo!” (I live!)

Others

Pros: With a bullpen that includes Billy Wagner, Tim Worrell, and my favorite Canadian Rheal Cormier, why not give a youngster a shot at the bigs?

Cons: Because they’re listed under the category of “others,” that’s why.

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